Cambridge Dinner and Evensong

Another journal entry for our time in Cambridge in March of 2026. This one will be for the evenings of March 11th and a back track to the evening of March 10th.

After our train ride back from Ely we hailed a taxi to drive us back to our lodgings. We freshened up and relaxed for a while but soon determined we were hungry and set out to find the likely spot for dinner.

The Cambridge Chop House looked good and we managed to get seated without a reservation.

The views of King’s College were a nice added treat.

A lamb chop for me and short ribs for Greg.

We shared sticky toffee pudding for dessert. This was a top notch and very satisfying meal.

It slipped my journal posting radar about our Tuesday evening March 10th Evensong at St. John’s College. St. John’s College was closed to visitors the whole time we were in Cambridge but they did have Evensong that the public could enjoy. We were so happy to be able to attend it in the college chapel and get a little view into some of the architecture and history.

Evensong is a musical form of evening prayer, most familiar in the Anglican and Episcopal traditions. It’s typically held in cathedrals, collegiate chapels, and parish churches, often at the close of the day. Unlike many other church services, much of Evensong is sung by a choir, accompanied by an organ, with the congregation usually participating through silent reflection or by joining in a few responses and hymns. The primary purpose of Evensong is to offer thanks for the day that is past, to seek spiritual peace for the evening ahead, and to provide attendees with a space for contemplation through beautiful music and scripture. 

It has been a wonderful way for us to end a day of sightseeing in our travels to attend Evensong.

Where we were seated to enjoy Evensong I was able to see some of the floor tiles in the transept/crossing section of the chapel.

Moses and the burning bush.

Abel and his offering to God.

While waiting in the narthex of the chapel, I was thrilled to see the following tribute.

Greg and I have read about William Wilberforce and seen tributes to him in different parts of England. His book, Real Christianity, is a book I can recommend. I have the revised and updated version by Bob Beltz.

Wilborforce and Thomas Clarkson both members of St. John’s College were honored for their prominent role in passing of the Act for the Abolition of the Slave Trade 1807.

1776 & 1779 William Wilberforce and Thomas Clarkson begin their studies at St John’s. Joining forces in 1787, they will spend the rest of their lives leading the campaign to abolish the slave trade and slavery.

“Britain’s abolition of its slave trade and then colonial slavery is the most dramatic example in human history of moral convictions overcoming national self-interest.” David Brian Davis

While we were in Oxford at Christ Church College in 2022 we saw a tribute to one of Wilberforce’s sons.

The plaque on the left reads Culham College, Founded by Bishop Samuel Wilberforce, to prepare school teachers to serve children within the Diocese of Oxford and well beyond its borders. 1852-1979

Samuel Wilberforce, FRS was an English bishop in the Church of England, and the third son of William Wilberforce. Known as “Soapy Sam”, Wilberforce was one of the greatest public speakers of his day. He is now best remembered for his opposition to Charles Darwin’s theory of evolution at a debate in 1860.

We also read an extensive plaque in his honor in the north transept of Westminster Abbey when we visited in 2003.

William Wilberforce is buried in the north transept of Westminster Abbey in London, England.
He was laid to rest on August 3, 1833, following a major state funeral. He is buried next to his close friend and former British Prime Minister, William Pitt.

Wilberforce was a member of parliament from Yorkshire. When we were visiting the Yorkminster in 2023 I spotted a plaque dedicated to him at the entrance to the gift shop.

You can read more about Wilberforce at the following link;

William Wilberforce

I’ll leave this post with a couple quotes from Real Christianity.

The Bible is one of God’s greatest gifts to humanity. It tells us of the greatest gift that men and women have longed for through-out the ages and of which the prophets spoke about for centuries. When Jesus finally came, His arrival was hailed by the angelic host with the exclamation, “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests” (Luke 2:14). How can you measure the value of the good news of Christ? It is spoken of in the Bible as light in the darkness, freedom from slavery and life from death. Look at how much the Early Church valued the message. They received it with great joy and overflowing gratitude.

Surely all these things should help us come to terms with the inexpressible value of true faith. The greatest gift of God is often either rejected outright or treated as if it is of little worth. But if we really began to study the Bible, we would be impressed with the proper value of the gift.”

Inside Ely Cathedral

As previously mentioned, this continues our travel journal for Wednesday March 11 when we took a short train ride from Cambridge to Ely to visit the cathedral. These photos are numerous and are from the inside of Ely Cathedral.

The entrance was through those amazing doors!

Ely Cathedral has origins dating back to AD 673 when St Etheldreda built an Abbey Church. The present building dates back to 1083, and was granted Cathedral status in 1109.

 

Installed as part of the Victorian restoration, the incredible Nave Ceiling was the work of two artists.

Henry Styleman Le Strange painted the first six panels (counting from the west), and Thomas Gambier Parry painted the last six – you can observe a change of style between the sixth and seventh panels.

The ceiling tells the story of the ancestry of Jesus, beginning with Adam (panel 1) and continuing through Abraham (panel 4), David (panel 8) and Mary (panels 9 and 10).

It is almost impossible not to look up when you visit a cathedral. I liked this ceiling section with all the angels looking down. Reminded me of 1 Peter 1:12

“It was revealed to them that they were serving not themselves but you, in the things that have now been announced to you through those who preached the good news to you by the Holy Spirit sent from heaven, things into which angels long to look.”

Looking into the Quire.

These ornate organ pipes were fascinating to me.

The jewel of Ely’s Crown and acknowledged as one of the wonders of the Medieval world is the Octagan.

You can read more about the Octagon here.

That is not a missing panel but a door opening.

Our guide gave us important details about this doorway and I found more information here. They call this the Prior’s door (c.1135). A Romanesque carved doorway.

The Christ figure is contained within a mandorla – an almond shape traditionally used to frame images of the transcendent. Here Christ’s feet cross the boundary of the mandorla, stepping towards mankind.

 Two human heads with pronounced eyes just below the tympanum watch those passing through the door into the church and symbolically entering heaven.

From the link; Like the rest of the building, the deeply carved doorway is sculpted in extremely hard Barnack limestone. It has a tympanum – a half-moon shape at the top – which would originally have been brightly painted. It shows an unusual clean-shaven Christ sitting in judgement on the peoples of the earth. One hand is raised in blessing, the other holds the Book of Judgement from Revelation.

Processional Way (below) was built to join the Cathedral and the Lady Chapel.

We were now entering the Lady Chapel, the largest Lady Chapel attached to any British Cathedral. I copied the following from Ely Cathedral’s Website.

The thirteenth and fourteenth centuries saw the rise of the cult of the Virgin Mary, and chapels in her honour were added to many churches and cathedrals, including Ely.

All this was destroyed in the sixteenth century during the Reformation, which, in keeping with Puritan convictions, rejected all forms of religious decoration. The scars of this deformation are highly visible today. Traces of coloured paint can still be seen, and fragments of the glass survive in the central window on the south side. The exquisite figures in the lower niches have been defaced and above are the empty pedestals where the statues stood.

Walking back into the main sections of the Cathedral.

This narrow spiraling stone staircase leads to the organ. Hopefully the organist was slim.

 

The Quire

So much history and so much to see and take in. I’ve shared enough or maybe too much here today and it would take a few more visits to absorb more.

This was a very long photo journal of the interior of Ely Cathedral. I will save the stained glass museum housed in an upper section of the cathedral for another day.

Battle Hymn of the Republic ~ Hymn

Battle Hymn of the Republic

Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord;
He is trampling out the vintage where the grapes of wrath are stored;
He hath loosed the fateful lightning of His terrible swift sword;
His truth is marching on.
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah! Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah! His truth is marching on.

I have seen Him in the watch fires of a hundred circling camps
They have builded Him an altar in the evening dews and damps;
I can read His righteous sentence by the dim and flaring lamps;
His day is marching on.
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah! Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah! His day is marching on.

I have read a fiery Gospel writ in burnished rows of steel;
As ye deal with My contemners, so with you My grace shall deal;
Let the Hero, born of woman, crush the serpent with His heel,
Since God is marching on.
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah! Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah! Since God is marching on.

He has sounded forth the trumpet that shall never call retreat;
He is sifting out the hearts of men before His judgment seat;
Oh, be swift, my soul, to answer Him! be jubilant, my feet;
Our God is marching on.
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah! Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah! Our God is marching on.

Words: Ju­lia W. Howe, 1861, alt. This hymn was born dur­ing the Amer­i­can ci­vil war, when Howe vis­it­ed a Un­ion Ar­my camp on the Po­to­mac Riv­er near Wash­ing­ton, D. C. She heard the sol­diers sing­ing the song “John Brown’s Body,” and was tak­en with the strong march­ing beat. She wrote the words the next day:

I awoke in the grey of the morn­ing, and as I lay wait­ing for dawn, the long lines of the de­sired po­em be­gan to en­twine them­selves in my mind, and I said to my­self, “I must get up and write these vers­es, lest I fall asleep and for­get them!” So I sprang out of bed and in the dim­ness found an old stump of a pen, which I re­mem­bered us­ing the day be­fore. I scrawled the vers­es al­most with­out look­ing at the p­aper.

The hymn ap­peared in the At­lant­ic Month­ly in 1862. It was sung at the fun­er­als of Brit­ish states­man Win­ston Church­ill, Amer­i­can sen­at­or Ro­bert Ken­ne­dy, and Am­er­i­can pre­si­dents Ron­ald Rea­gan and Ri­chard Nix­on.

The Battle Hymn of the Republic is also known by the title, Mine Eyes Have Seen the Glory.

Truth for Today #193

Friday July 3rd

On Fridays my posts will include verses that stood out in my readings from the Bible during the week. One, two, three or maybe more. If you have a verse/verses that you read during the week and would like to share, leave it/them in the comments and I will add it/them to the post. Let’s continue to dig deep into God’s truth.

The verses that you share are appreciated and so encouraging, I’m thankful for them and for each of you! 

Ephesians 3:20-21

Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.

Colossians 1:28-29

Him we proclaim, warning everyone and teaching everyone with all wisdom, that we may present everyone mature in Christ. For this I toil, struggling with all his energy that he powerfully works within me.

From Vera:

Isaiah‬ ‭26‬:‭2‬-‭4‬ ‭ESV‬‬

“Open the gates, that the righteous nation that keeps faith may enter in. You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord God is an everlasting rock.” ‭‭

From Debby:

For me it was “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden.” Matthew 5:14 – I studied that this week, thinking about what that meant as an American.

 

 

Love the USA Hodgepodge

Hello July and Red, White and Blue Hodgepodge. Thank you, Joyce!

Happy Canada Day to our neighbors to the North!

1. What do you love most about your country? 

Right now, this minute, I’m enjoying hearing all the good things that World Cup Soccer visitors have to say about this great country of ours. They have said over and over that they were lied to by their home country media on how awful the United States is. They are soaking up the amazing variety of landscape and food and convenience and largeness from coast to coast. We are a melting pot of culture and we are unique in how we display our patriotism and celebrate our country, especially on the 4th of July.

On the flipside we are enjoying their songs, their chants, their dress, their celebrations, their loyalty to their teams!

My parents fled communism (Russia) and spent their teen years and young adult years in Iran. They applied and immigrated lawfully to the USA shortly after World War II. In the nineties when they had an opportunity to re-visit the village our pop was from in Russia they saw first hand what they were delivered from. When they came back to the US and got off their plane in the USA, they kissed the ground! They knew and appreciated the freedom and the country they were providentially citizens of. They embraced the USA, learned the language and were good citizens.

2. Your favorite patriotic song? 

God Bless America

“While the storm clouds gather far across the sea,
Let us swear allegiance to a land that’s free.
Let us all be grateful for a land so fair,
As we raise our voices in a solemn prayer:

God bless America, land that I love,
Stand beside her and guide her
Through the night with a light from above.
From the mountains, to the prairies,
To the oceans white with foam,
God bless America,
My home sweet home.”

3. Red, white, or blue? Stars or stripes? Something you own besides a US flag with some combination of those colors or decorations as part of its design? 

Blue as in blue jeans or the color of our home.

Stars are a favorite…

Red, White and Blue stars are outside and inside our home, especially this time of year!

4. What’s one thing you want more of this summer: fun, rest, adventure, connection, quiet, or confidence? Elaborate. 

I’ve already had more fun than I deserve this year and there is more fun planned for October of this year. I’m going with connection. I’d like more connection in the everyday moments with my God and Savior. I’d like more connection in that regard with other believers, too. Good conversations and prompts that cast my eyes on how gracious God is and all that He is doing to make me more like his Son and my Savior.

Without God’s grace I’d have no hope. Here are parts of Spurgeon’s June 29th evening devotional;

“If the grace of God were to leave the best Christian, there is enough sin in his heart to make him the worst of transgressors. If left to yourselves, you who are warmest for Christ would cool down like Laodicea into sickening lukewarmness:

…Therefore let us cry to God to never leave us. Do not withdraw from us your indwelling grace! 

Lord, keep us everywhere. Keep us when we’re in the valley so that we do not grumble against Your humbling hand; keep us when we’re on the mountain, so we do not lose our balance by being lifted up; keep us in our youth, when our passions are strong; keep us in old age, when becoming conceited in our wisdom, we may therefore prove greater fools than those who are young and silly; keep us when we come to die, in case at the very end we should deny You! Keep us living, keep us dying, keep us working, keep us suffering, keep us fighting, keep us resting, keep us everywhere, for everywhere we need You, O our God!”

5. What was your ultimate, go-to summer activity when you were a kid? Do you still do any version of that today? If you answered yes, does participating in this activity as an adult make you feel like a kid?  

Going to the beach or going to the ‘plunge’, the pool at Montebello high school, was a favorite childhood activity. Did you ever call a pool, a plunge?

As kids, we would walk from our neighborhood in Montebello Gardens (called the Jardines in Spanish) to the high school pool in Montebello where for 10 cents we could enjoy the pools. We would spend a good amount of time in the pools and then have to walk back home. I remember being very thirsty and very tired on that walk back home.

Google maps shows that it was a 2.3 mile walk there and 2.3 mile walk back home!

Our mom never got a license so she never drove a car and our pop worked hard and long hours and always had the family car for his work so as kids we were on our own if we wanted to go to the pool or to the library.

As an adult I enjoy a nice walk on the beach in the cool morning hours and that is something we were able to do just last week!

Cannon Beach, Oregon with Haystack Rock in the distance.

6. Insert your own random thought here.

Speaking of stars, here’s a flashback to 2021 and these two stars are my favorites!

If you are from the USA, I hope you are able to celebrate the 4th of July as the 250th year deserves!

If you aren’t from the USA, happy July to you and don’t be afraid to visit the USA!

My Voice Shalt Thou Hear in the Morning ~ Hymn

My Voice Shalt Thou Hear in the Morning

My voice shalt Thou hear in the morn­ing,
O Je­sus, my Sav­ior, my all;
While na­ture its mu­sic is wak­ing,
On Thee from my heart will I call.

Refrain

My voice shalt Thou hear in the morn­ing,
My praise to the hills shall as­cend,
I’ll join with the glo­ri­fied mill­ions
A chor­us that nev­er shall end.

My voice shalt Thou hear in the morn­ing,
O Je­sus, my shep­herd and king;
Refreshed with the dews of Thy mer­cy,
Thy won­der­ful love will I sing.

Refrain

My voice shalt Thou hear in the morn­ing,
At noon­day, at eve, and at night;
I’ll tell of Thy good­ness for ev­er,
My hope, my sal­va­tion, my light.

Refrain

Words: Fanny Crosby, 1892.

Father, Lead Thy Little Children ~ Hymn

Father, Lead Thy Little Children

Father, lead Thy lit­tle child­ren
Very ear­ly to Thy throne;
We will have no gods be­fore Thee;
Thou art God, and Thou alone.

Refrain

Lead, O lead Thy lit­tle child­ren
Very ear­ly to Thy throne;
We will have no gods be­fore Thee;
Thou art God, and Thou alone.

In the Bi­ble Thou hast taught us
All our thoughts to Thee are known;
Thou canst see us in the dark­ness;
Thou art God, and Thou alone.

Refrain

Though the hea­then bow to id­ols,
They have made of wood and stone,
We have Christ­ian friends to tell us
Thou art God, and Thou alone.

Refrain

Thou dost give us all our com­forts,
Everything we call our own
Comes from Thee, our heav’n­ly Fa­ther;
Thou art God, and Thou alone.

Refrain

Words: Fanny Crosby, 1883.

Truth for Today #192

Friday June 19th

On Fridays my posts will include verses that stood out in my readings from the Bible during the week. One, two, three or maybe more. If you have a verse/verses that you read during the week and would like to share, leave it/them in the comments and I will add it/them to the post. Let’s continue to dig deep into God’s truth.

The verses that you share are appreciated and so encouraging, I’m thankful for them and for each of you! 

Note: I will be away from my computer next Friday so there will not be a Truth for Today post Friday the 26th.

Hebrews 6:4-8

For it is impossible, in the case of those who have once been enlightened, who have tasted the heavenly gift, and have shared in the Holy Spirit, and have tasted the goodness of the word of God and the powers of the age to come, and then have fallen away, to restore them again to repentance, since they are crucifying once again the Son of God to their own harm and holding him up to contempt.

Hebrews 10:26-31

For if we go on sinning deliberately after receiving the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins, but a fearful expectation of judgement, and a fury of fire that will consume the adversaries. Anyone who has se aside the law of Moses dies without mercy on the evidence of two or more witnesses. How much worse punishment, do you think, will be deserved by the one who has trampled underfoot the Son of God, and has profaned the blood of the covenant by which he was sanctified, and has outraged the Spirit of grace? For we know him who said, “Vengeance is mine; I will repay.” And again, “The Lord will judge his people.” It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.

From Vera:

‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭26‬:‭2‬-‭4‬ ‭ESV‬‬

“Open the gates, that the righteous nation that keeps faith may enter in. You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord God is an everlasting rock.” ‭‭

From Maristella:

1 Timothy 6:11

But you, man of God, flee from all of this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness.

 

 

Soldiers of Christ, Arise ~ Hymn

I was going to narrow down the 16 stanzas of this hymn/poem that Charles Wesley wrote but on second thought decided to post it all. I’m putting the definitions of some of the ‘old’ words at the end for my benefit and maybe yours.

Soldiers of Christ, Arise

Soldiers of Christ, arise,
And put your armor on,
Strong in the strength which God supplies
Through His eternal Son.
Strong in the Lord of hosts,
And in His mighty power,
Who in the strength of Jesus trusts
Is more than conqueror.

Stand then in His great might,
With all His strength endued,
And take, to arm you for the fight,
The panoply of God;
That, having all things done,
And all your conflicts past,
Ye may o’ercome through Christ alone
And stand entire at last.

Stand then against your foes,
In close and firm array;
Legions of wily fiends oppose
Throughout the evil day;
But meet the sons of night,
And mock their vain design,
Armed in the arms of heavenly light,
Of righteousness divine.

Leave no unguarded place,
No weakness of the soul,
Take every virtue, every grace,
And fortify the whole;
Indissolubly joined,
To battle all proceed;
But arm yourselves with all the mind
That was in Christ, your head.

Let truth the girdle be,
That binds your armor on,
In faithful, firm sincerity
To Jesus cleave alone.
Let faith and love combine
To guard your valiant breast:
The plate be righteousness divine,
Imputed, and impressed.

Still let your feet be shod,
Ready His will to do,
Ready in all the ways of God
His glory to pursue:
Ruin is spread beneath,
The Gospel greaves put on,
And safe through all the snares of death
To life eternal run.

But, above all, lay hold
On faith’s victorious shield;
Armed with that adamant and gold,
Be sure to win the field:
If faith surround your heart,
Satan shall be subdued,
Repelled his every fiery dart,
And quenched with Jesus’ blood.

Jesus hath died for you!
What can His love withstand?
Believe, hold fast your shield, and who
Shall pluck you from His hand?
Believe that Jesus reigns,
All power to Him is given:
Believe, till freed from sin’s remains;
Believe yourselves to Heaven.

Your Rock can never shake:
Hither, He saith, come up!
The helmet of salvation take,
The confidence of hope:
Hope for His perfect love,
Hope for His people’s rest,
Hope to sit down with Christ above,
And share the marriage feast.

Brandish in faith till then
The Spirit’s two-edged sword,
Hew all the snares of fiends and men
In pieces with the Word;
’Tis written; This applied
Baffles their strength and art;
Spirit and soul with this divide,
And joints and marrow part.

To keep your armor bright,
Attend with constant care,
Still walking in your captain’s sight,
And watching unto prayer.
Ready for all alarms,
Steadfastly set your face,
And always exercise your arms,
And use your every grace.

Pray without ceasing, pray,
Your captain gives the word;
His summons cheerfully obey
And call upon the Lord;
To God your every want
In instant prayer display,
Pray always; pray and never faint,
Pray, without ceasing, pray!

In fellowship; alone,
To God with faith draw near;
Approach His courts, besiege His throne
With all the powers of prayer:
Go to His temple, go,
Nor from His altar move;
Let every house His worship know,
And every heart His love.

To God your spirits dart,
Your souls in words declare,
Or groan, to Him who reads the heart,
The unutterable prayer.
His mercy now implore,
And now show forth His praise,
In shouts, or silent awe, adore
His miracles of grace.

Pour out your souls to God,
And bow them with your knees,
And spread your hearts and hands abroad,
And pray for Sion’s peace;
Your guides, and brethren, bear
For ever on your mind;
Extend the arms of mighty prayer,
In grasping all mankind.

From strength to strength go on,
Wrestle, and fight, and pray,
Tread all the powers of darkness down,
And win the well-fought day;
Still let the Spirit cry
In all His soldiers, Come!
Till Christ the Lord descends from high
And takes the conquerors home.

Words: Charles Wesley, 1741.

endued: endow or provide with a quality or ability (past tense)

Panoply: a complete set of arms or suit of armor.

Indissolubly: in a way that is impossible to take apart or bring to an end, or exists for a very long time.

Imputed: Justification is an act of God’s free grace, wherein he pardons all our sins, and accepts us as righteous in his sight, only for the righteousness of Christ imputed to us, and received by faith alone.

greaves: a piece of armor used to protect the shin

Truth for Today #191

Friday June 12th

On Fridays my posts will include verses that stood out in my readings from the Bible during the week. One, two, three or maybe more. If you have a verse/verses that you read during the week and would like to share, leave it/them in the comments and I will add it/them to the post. Let’s continue to dig deep into God’s truth.

The verses that you share are appreciated and so encouraging, I’m thankful for them and for each of you! 

1 John 2:28-29

And now, little children, abide in him, so that when he appears we may have confidence and not shrink from him in shame at his coming. If you know that he is righteous, you may be sure that everyone who practices righteousness has been born of him.

From Maristella:

Romans 12:17-18.

Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.

From Vera:

‭‭Colossians‬ ‭1‬:‭9‬-‭14‬ ‭ESV‬‬

“And so, from the day we heard, we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him: bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; being strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy; giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light. He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.”

From Leonard:

 Jeremiah 17:7-8

“Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord. He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit.”

From Karen:

James 1:22

But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.